By Traci Benton
J: (VO) Janeway to Chakotay
What the hell? What time is it? God am I late for duty shift?! No…its…0500 hours
C: What? Why? … Kathryn?FIN
J: Yes…did I wake you?
Do I lie? Yes lie…
What do you want?
C: Is something wrong?
J: No…I can't sleep
So? I'm tired
C: Oh…Well do you want to come round?
Don't ask her that! What are you doing?
J: To your quarters?
C: Yes, we can…
Mind what you say!
J: I'm in bed
Oh man! Don't tell me that!
C: Well get out (he laughs)
This is not funny, don't laugh, she'll think you are laughing at her…you were…well don't!
J: Fine, I'll see you in 3 minutes Janeway out
Oh no, what have I done, you are so stupid do you know that! Inviting the Captain to your quarters at five in the morning! She might get the wrong idea! She said yes! That's not the point…She's going to be here any minute…get out of bed! Get dressed…no time, well at least get out of bed! Do it!
(He jumps out of bed)
Now what!? Well … make the bed! What?! She's not exactly going to getting in it! Well make it anyway!
(He makes the bed)
You are in over your head do you know that!? Yes I know that! Is the place tidy? Yes…
(There is a chime from the door)
Oh no Oh no…calm down, you are going to make a fool of yourself! Its only Kathryn, only Kathryn? Only Kathryn? What do you mean only Kathryn! Ok calm down…Ok…Don't just stand there!
(There is another chime from the door)
Answer the door! No! What do you mean no! Answer the door! I can't move! Yes you can, calm down for God's sakes!
(He walks over to the door) OK just move your hand on the panel…that's it
(The door slides open) Well-done…Oh my god she's in her night wear! Well what did you expect? Her night wear…oh my…. her night…stop it! Stop it now! Don't think like that! It isn't healthy…Stop it! Now!
…Lovely…what are you doing? Stop thinking-just don't think anything!
Invite her in! Now! Do it!
J: Are you OK?
No I am not OK! Please leave! What are you insane! Invite her in you stupid…
C: Um…Come in (he gestures and she walks in)
J: Chakotay what's wrong?
Whats wrong? Oh my god, everything's wrong, nothings wrong, calm down! Calm down? How can I calm down!? She's in my quarters wearing…not a lot! Well you are in your Pyjamas! Well mine don't look like…that! Just shut up…why is she just standing there!? Don't just stand there! Well what else is she supposed to do!? Invite her to sit down…Offer her a drink! Do something!
(He takes her hand and pulls her over to the couch)
You are so stupid sometimes do you know that! What are you doing?
(He sits her down on the couch, stands in front of her and doesn't budge)
What are you doing?! Dont just stand there! Don't…What are you looking at!? Stop it…I cant move, Oh no I cant move, just breath…calm down and breath…everything's fine, just move…offer her a drink…I cant, MOVE! Oh no…offer her a stupid drink!
C: Um…stupid drink?
C: I mean-would you like a drink?
J: Yes please, chakotay what's wrong?
You are so stupid, now she knows something's wrong, what do I tell her? The truth? WHAT?! No not the truth…you are what's wrong Kathryn, you and what you're wearing…what you're wearing…nice…stop it! Tell her…tell her…
C: I'm just a little tired
J: I'm sorry I woke you
C: You didn't
Why are you here? Not that I mind…you and your nice silky dress type thing, Stop it! I order you to stop it NOW! What now? What was I saying, what was she saying? Oh I am in such a state; just think…drinks…yes, that's good…what's she looking at? Oh my God what's she looking at?! Stop looking at me! I…what was I saying? Drinks…Ok that I can do
C: Drink, what would you like to drink?
J: Um…Orange Juice?
Orange Juice, what's orange juice? What do you mean what's orange juice!? Work brain- work now! Orange juice, Ok what do I want? Orange Juice? What's orange juice? Orange…juice…juice that's orange…made of oranges? Yes…and its orange…just get the damn juice!
C: Orange juice it is
(He walks over to the replicator)
(To replicator) Two orange Juices (two orange juices materialise, he momentarily closes his eyes before taking the orange juices and turning back to face her)
Wait I don't like orange juice…you cant say that now…she'll think…oh just drink the orange juice! But I don't like it…then don't drink it! Fine, but she'll think I'm stupid! Then drink it…why is she looking at me like that? What? What? What have I done?
What? What? What have I done now?
C: Um Yes?
J: Am I going to get that Orange Juice?
What orange juice? Orange juice, I don't like orange juice…its orange and…orange…she wants orange juice, I'll replicate some, yeah that's good, give her some orange juice…wait…I have orange juice…in my hand, where did that come from?! That's convenient, wait…didn't I just…give her the orange juice!
(He does so)
J: Thank you
Now what? Sit down? Stay standing? What? …Sit down…yeah and drink the orange juice…no I don't like orange juice, just forget about the orange juice, think about something else…my God, she's in my quarters wearing…that! No don't think about that! Orange juice, think about orange juice, orange juice is good, orange juice is safe… sit down! I cant, I cant move, yes you can! Do it! Now!
(He sits down next to her)
Not there! You stupid, stupid idiot! Well where else was I supposed to sit? Somewhere other then where you are now! Get up! Move! OK move…I'll move over to that chair there…NO! What are you thinking? You can't just get up and move, you'll look like an idiot and you'll probably offend her! You are so stupid…well I can't stay here! My God…She is so…No stop don't think about her! That's a bit hard…she's, what's she doing? I don't know I'm not looking at her! Well look at her, no! It's perfectly innocent, just look at her and smile…that's it, what's she doing?
(He looks at her and smiles)
OK, God! Why is she so calm and collected!? Why isn't she freaking out? Why because she isn't thinking really stupid thoughts like you are! And she's the captain, captains don't freak! What's she doing? Sipping orange juice and looking at me…oh God don't look at me! Look away! Quick, look away now! Now! I cant! I cant look away! Do it, Oh God she's looking at me now, she's smiling…don't…oh God her smile…I want to…No! No no no no no…stop it! Look away, I cant, do it! Now! Listen you have to look away, before you do something you regret! Her eyes, oh her eyes! Damn, look away-I don't want to! You have to! Wait! She's not looking away, why should I? Yeah but she's not looking at you thinking these things about you! What if she is? You wish! Yeah, oh boy do I wish…stop it! Stop it now! She's still looking at you-OK now she thinks you're weird, look away! You have to look away, please! That's it, well done look away!
(He looks away)
Now where do I look? Oh great! Look…just look at your orange juice, yeah orange juice is safe remember! Boy I really do not like orange juice
(He looks down at his orange juice)
Oh great now I can see her leg out of the corner of my eye…her leg…don't even go there! I'm warning you! Stop it NOW! Look away-you have to look away…you're not breathing! You have to breath! Breath…that's it…good, now look away, no don't stop breathing! Right breathing…and look at…the wall…right there we go…looking at the wall and not thinking about things…orange juice…orange juice…I hate orange juice, this is uncomfortable, say something to her…to who? Kathryn! Say something to Kathryn! I don't want to…you invited her here now talk to her, you'll make her feel uncomfortable, that's not good…make her comfortable…I can think of plenty of ways NO! No no no no no! Stop it! Orange juice...yes!
C: Is your orange juice OK?
That sounded really stupid! Really, really stupid, you can think of something better then that!
J: Yes…thank you
What? What did she say? Oh…well say something back! Now!
That's it? Say something else! Oh why can't she start a conversation? Anything…please, please, please talk…come on! Say something! She's not saying anything…its down to you…what do I say? Orange juice? No! Enough with the orange juice already! Um Um Um…Come on this is no time to be lost for words, what's she doing? She's finished her orange juice…I haven't even touched mine…I don't like orange juice! Say something!
C: Do you…want another drink? Do you want mine?
What? Why the hell did you say that? Well I was only trying to be nice!
J: No…thank you, you drink it
Right I have to drink it…I hate orange juice! Give it to her, no she said she doesn't want it…remember…yes…oh God…I wish she'd go away! What am I saying? No I want her to stay…Oh this would all be fine if I wasn't acting so bloody stupid!
J: Did you ever have a dog?
What? What is she talking about? Well it's a conversation isn't it! Go with it…go on say something, what do I say? Well answering her question would be a start!
J: Me too
C: I know
What the hell are we talking about?! Its better then nothing!
J: Yes…I love dogs…they're my favourite animals
C: Yes I know
Stop saying that!
J: My dog was called Molly
C: I know
J…Yes…I hope Mark is looking after her…and the puppies
What? Who? Mark? Don't talk about Mark! Damn you Mark! What? She doesn't still…please don't talk about Mark, talk about dogs!
You are so stupid! Don't make it to obvious will you!
C: I love dogs
J: I love dogs too
I really really want to do something I'll regret! Oh my God Kathryn why did you have to come to my quarters at this time of the morning?! You invited her! Stupid move…change the subject…to what? I don't know, anything…God I love her…What!? What the hell am I thinking, I can't think that…well I do…well don't! Tell her…WHAT!? No! Go on tell her! No, my God I have to get out of here…you cant do that…I need an excuse…wait, oh damn, she's in my quarters…what the hell is she doing in my quarters? Tell her to get out! What!? Ok now you are freaking! Stop it, calm down, oh my God I love her, no you don't! I love Kathryn Janeway…Captain Kathryn Janeway…the captain…why do I have to fall in love with the stupid captain? She's not stupid, shut up, what the hell am I doing, telling myself to shut up…get a hold of yourself Chakotay! Calmness! Think nice thoughts! Kathryn…mmm that's a nice thought…definitely a nice thought…well are you going to tell her or not? Definitely NOT! Fine then tell her to get out, out? Out of your quarters! Now why would I want her to do that? Because you are making a fool of yourself…I'm in love, shut-up! What's she doing now? She looks uncomfortable, oh good one Chakotay you made her uncomfortable, you know I could just kiss her right now…she's so close… NO! Stop it, that's it get her out of your quarters, right now, I can't do that, sure you can, just grab her and shove her out of the door…WHAT!? Are you insane? I cant do that! Sure you can…Ok think carefully…what to do…I'm gonna do it…you're gonna do what? Oh no….no you cant you wont…I have to kiss her…no you don't! stop it…get up and go to the bathroom or something, think this through logically! She's the Captain! But I love her…well she doesn't love you! That's a point…but she might! She doesn't! Face it, Chakotay you are going to ruin a great friendship if you do this…I want more then a friendship, she's your best friend! Don't! Please don't do it, I have to, I want to, I need to- those are good reasons! Stop it! Stop it now! She's so close, then move away! I can't move, oh God, just kiss her, lean forward and kiss her, it doesn't have to be anything dramatic…just a small kiss…on the cheek…no, on the lips, yeah that's good, go on do it, no don't! She'll kill you! Throw you in the brig or something! She wouldn't…look Chakotay, there's something wrong with you, you're not thinking straight! Go to bed! Bed? No don't even think that! Oh God…Just tell her you don't feel well and she'll leave, simple as that…I don't want her to leave, no but you need her to leave, you are seriously freaking out, now stop it…Kiss her, NO! Don't! You are going to seriously regret it! No I wont, she'll totally kill you! She'll never forgive you! Do you want that? Look at her she's really uncomfortable- say something… like what? Anything, talk about her…ask her something…her night dress NO! Its nice, yes it may be nice but that no reason to talk about it! OK I'll ask her something…what though? I don't know, look at her she looks really bored…you're boring her! Say something!
(He puts the orange juice down)
NO NO NO NO NO NO don't say that! Anything but that!
Nothing, tell her nothing!
C: I love you
NO YOU DON'T
Tell her you don't! Quick! You can still get away with it!
C: I love you
Ok now would be a really good time to kiss her if I could move! I can't believe you said that! Oh my God what's she thinking? Well she isn't shouting at me, that's a good sign right? But then she might be thinking of different ways to inflict pain…oh no…please say something…quick, you're scaring me now…I told you you'd regret it! Now look what you've done! She hates you now! Stupid Stupid Stupid…kiss her! NO!
(He leans forward and kisses her lightly on the lips)
This is nice, this is very nice, just waiting to be killed now, but it'll be worth it! Totally…ok just look into her eyes…yeah that's good, might find out what she's thinking
(He looks into her eyes)
Well she doesn't look angry, but then I'm not exactly one for reading emotions…oh God I wish she'd kill me and get it over with…say something…
C: (whispers) I love you Kathryn
Oh? Oh? What's that supposed to mean!? Oh…I love you too? Oh…give me a second to figure out which weapon I am going to use to kill you?! Most probably the latter! Oh God what have I done…I'm glad I did it…I think…what do I do now? Kiss her again? Ask her how she feels? I don't know! Just sit here until she says something…that's a good idea…no its not! What are you thinking? Touch her…What? Just do it…
(He reaches out and touches her face lightly)
Yeah that's nice and all but now what!? You've really done it now! She looks like she's about to cry! Stupid, Stupid, Stupid, me and my big idea's…tell her you're sorry…but I'm not, that's not the point! It is…Oh God…apologise now!
J: I love you too…
What the hell did she just say? Oh my God…Wait that's a good thing isn't it? That's what I wanted to hear, that's what I've wanted to hear…since I met her…but, what? Why the hell did she say that? Well maybe she does…no she doesn't, she's just saying that! No she wouldn't do that…would she? She had better not! OK this is good…now what? She loves me? Wow…oh my God she loves me…I think it would be better if she just killed me! Oh No…she does?
C: You do?
Don't ask her that!
Wow…I just want to kiss her right now…then do it…I cant…what do you mean you cant! You did it once already…she loves me!
(He cups his hand around her face, leans forward and kisses her full on the lips)
This is nice, this is very nice, am I dreaming? I better not be! No of course I'm not…don't be stupid…she loves me…my God, maybe she did kill me and this isn't real! Don't be so stupid…
C: You do?
J: (laughs softly) Yes
She's laughing at me…I'm making a fool of myself, oh great! Well done…now what?
(Janeway takes his hand in hers and strokes it lightly)
What's she doing? That's nice, that means she's comfortable with this right? Well what else is it going to mean? I can't believe this is happening, I must be dreaming, there's no other explanation! Well if I am, I sure as hell don't want to wake up!
J: I love you
Ok she said it without me asking, that's good, oh I love her so much…tell her, I have, well tell her again, she'll like that
C: I love you so much Kathryn
I do, I hope she believes me, of course she believes me, why wouldn't she?
(He leans forward and rests his forehead against hers)
J: (whispers) I love you
(He kisses her softly on the lips)
J: (looks at the orange juice) You haven't touched your drink…
C: (laughs) I don't like orange juice
You shouldn't have told her that, now she thinks you're just plain weird…but I don't care- she loves me!
(Janeway smiles and leans against Chakotay with her arms around him, he puts his arms around her lovingly)
This is nice…I could stay like this forever- forever and ever. Her hair is so soft, this cant be real, this is to good to be true!
(He strokes her hair gently, and kisses her head)
Kathryn Janeway is in my arms…this is…wow…I wonder what she's thinking…I can't believe I told her? That was really stupid…not that I would change it…I mean this is good…very good…very very good…God I love her, tell her, yes good idea
C: (whispers in her ear) I love you
(She smiles and looks up at him; he kisses her gently on the lips)
This is perfect…everything's perfect! This has got to be worth being lost in the Delta Quadrant for, definitely…40 odd years confined on this ship with Kathryn…sounds good to me! Phew, this couldn't have gone any better, congratulations Chakotay.